Sounds like our families are on the same page...process and hopeful.
I again will thank Meredith for sharing her insights...she is not the compass nor is she the light, but she is definitely a soft voice in the distance that says...I think this is the way...follow-it.
Excellent as usual Meredith, Moral Injury is indeed something I've suffered much of, so much it lead to me researching Narcissists.... they understand on a fundamental level that causing you moral injury is an injury they can pretend doesn't exist. What Narcissist could resist that power fantasy
-->
I can hurt you anytime and you can't hold me accountable now be a good little slave or else (read the sentence again)....
When you mentioned expectations I decided you should read into all the ways they attack your expectations.
Devaluing Expectations - Nothing you do is ever enough, you are to never expect your efforts will ever be enough but are expected to pay up all the same
Invalidating Expectations - No good deed goes unpunished, you aren’t skilled you just got lucky. You won’t be given credit where credit is due. You are purposefully not being evaluated at all
Subverting Expectations - Ex. Future Faking, You can’t expect them to keep their word, they don’t but to accuse them of this truth is forbidden.
Averting Expectations - Typically they turtle (warfare tactic), withhold and hide answers from you. They are evading responsibility and accountability. They aren’t telling you the truth that they are purposefully sabotaging your efforts and keeping dark secrets from you.
Shifting Expectations / Moving the goalposts - Maybe they can get by on some lies to buy them some time, maybe give you some gifts or do something else you may want done, but not the important thing you want done.
Sacrificing Expectations - Typically this involves the target expectations being distorted through FOGS (Fear, Obligation, Guilt, Sympathy). Emotional Blackmail that coerces the target to give them a free pass be it by denying, minimizing, magnifying, rationalizing/excusing, romanticizing, normalizing, idolizing, demonizing, etc. by drinking up whatever poison the victim-mimic is offering. By sacrificing your expectations to them, they gain control of your decisions. The decisions they’ll make for you aren’t in your best interest. Forgiving and Forgetting only enables the manipulator/the abuser to get away with it and do it again.
"Sacrifice" does not mean the rejection of the worthless, but of the precious. "Sacrifice" does not mean the rejection of the evil for the sake of the good, but of the good for the sake of the evil. "Sacrifice" is the surrender of that which you value in favor of that which you don’t.
For a man of moral stature, whose desires are born of rational values, sacrifice is the surrender of the right to the wrong, of the good to the evil.
Deceiving Expectations - This is where you think they meet or succeed your expectations, but you were deceived. Maybe someone else did their homework for them, maybe they are repeating lines they heard in the recent popular movie…. they’re always taking credit for another's work. Whoever it was that did the good thing, it wasn’t them that passed the test.
Unfair/Impossible Standards - Ex. You must always please me and if you can’t you’re evil. Treat the child with the standards and responsibilities of an adult and/or designated scapegoat.
Double Standards/Hypocrisy - Rules for thee, not for me. Ex. Future Faking, You are to expect them to keep their word but when they don’t, to accuse them of this truth is forbidden. You however, are always guilty of any accusation.
Take note that surpassing your expectations isn’t on the menu. This is because you need to be conditioned to settle for scraps… it’s counter-productive to make it harder to condition you later. If Love Bombing is surpassing your expectations, consider yourself already conditioned.
All these attacks with a specific goal to lower and/or eliminate your expectations and even standards.
None of this is by accident, this is a purposeful destructive conditioning regiment you never opted in for but also aren’t allowed to opt out of. Says who? Them. They decide your expectations.
Does that sound good to you? It isn’t going to be good to you or your health.
Thank you for the correlation for what happened to our service members to what happens in family systems where similar scapegoating, retraumatization and moral injury occurs. Maybe with such an example healing not only for our vets will happen but families as well. They deserve better as does anyone who has suffered such.
Thank you so much for this article. It has opened my eyes to what I've been feeling at my workplace over the past 3.5+ years. All of the gaslighting, implicit and explicit lies, all in the name of public health/safety. None of it making the least bit of sense. Never an apology for anything. Never an indication of remorse their horrendous behavior.
After years of abuse and being vilified for pointing out exactly where and how they were wrong about literally everything, I now feel like I'm personally under assault at even the most mundane corporate bureaucratic stupidity. Know anybody looking for a highly experienced and very capable analytical QC chemist/metrologist? 😂
My wife and I were members of the Watchtower Bible, and Tract Society (JW) for a combined 80+ years, but after the gaslighting and overt manipulation carried out by the GB (Governing Body), we separated ourselves. The Scamdemic was our frying pan moment combined with the GB "strongly encouraging" vaccinations and masks, in addition a 3+ year closure of the Kingdom Halls, Ministry and personal contact with friends we WOKE UP! We have not left God...as a matter a fact, we opened our eyes to Jehovah's only means of salvation - Jesus Chris our Lord and Savior, to the glory of the Father. We did suffer, during the separation phase, but did not leave God and his Son and we also had our marriage for support and have now widened out in our world view and our developing new, healthier relationships/friends and coming to grips with the scale of abuse we allowed/experienced. Our Faith in Christ our redeemer and his undeserved kindness has acted as an anchor more and more now. Besides our main source of Guidance - the Bible, we have over time added: Meredith Miller, Jordan Petterson, Peter Attia, Mr. Hubberman, ...and many more. (Life is good) and I hope we can be good nodes in a network and be a force for good as we live out our Christian lives.
Thank you for sharing. I can very much relate to this. I was the child of an indoctrinated JW parent that, although they are not in that version of religion any longer, still does not recognize the authoritarian ‘umbrella’ that is used in so many other facets of abuse systems, relationships. And as a result, tried to gaslight and manipulate me into complying to the mandates as an enabler of the system. I am grateful now for my discernment and education on the topic to face the challenges ahead of us. I find it difficult to trust any organized religious group and rely heavily on a personal relationship with God/Jesus Christ as my life foundation.
Hi Dawn, Thank you for your reply. I do not want to open up pandoras-box here, but would like to comment on your reply as it relates to "difficult to trust any organized religious group". As, we are attempting to navigate through a bit of a puzzler in reference to friends/associates. So, on one hand, we believe that associating with like minded people (Christians) is a provision from God and needed (to varying degrees) with that premise in mind, we are praying that we receive some guidance as to new friendships, focusing on Christian friends and or a building/organization to gather/worship. But on the other hand, we clearly understand now that all of these organized religions, while being mostly a force for good, are limited by their humanity and their opinions...sometimes strong opinions, we are only interested in the Bible and the Bible in it's context and not opinions founded on false premises (JW). Well, I guess I am just trying to say, that it is a process to find good association/mentors/friends and that these people might be found in a church/organization and I think it is Gods will that we take advantage of this provision of Christian association...but of course, this is just our interpretation of what we have read in the narrative/stories of the Bible. Step 1: As you say, personal relationship with God/Christ...Step 2? Well, I guess it is a process. Keep reading God's word...take care, Sister in the Faith.
I appreciate your reply and please let me clarify. The way I see it, difficult does not equate to impossible. We have a church that we like and at the same time, there have been problems with certain members/pastors that have occurred. It goes with the territory of being imperfect humans I suppose. So, discernment is a quality that helps me to deal with and use grace in these types of situations. I agree It is a process and I am hopeful.
The letter you shared wasn’t even personalized. It proves the distain the military has for all those who refused to be inoculated with a biological agent that was never proven safe or effective.
I have forever been amazed at all who have proudly worn the red, white, and blue for the courage and fortitude it takes to fight in foreign wars, leaving family and friends behind sometimes for years at a time, not knowing if they will return whole in body and spirit, or worse.
Ever since the resident of the White House decided with his generals to boot every one out of the military that would not bow down to the pressure of getting vaxxed, I felt instinctively that this was the ending to the long time-honored tradition of serving our country. It appears I was right.
No man or woman should ever be unduly pressured to go against their God given intelligence and rights. I stand with all who refused the vax and all who defied the command and who definitely deserve our allegiance in what was once known as the “shining city on a hill” referring to America!
[hands over head] wondering when this insanity will ever stop. I'm grateful to you, Meredith, for giving understanding to what's going on. When other people see the craziness I settle right down.
This is an excellent analysis of moral injury and all the ways that an individual and group can become morally injured and long term consequences of this trauma. I especially appreciate how you grounded it in experiences of being in abusive relationships and the various traumas that impact an individual who is protecting themselves and others from an abuser's actions. Thank you for this piece.
Why have a military at all? Anywhere on earth!...It is time for both men an women worldwide to stop swallowing the BS that those who wish to 'Lead' have been dishing out for thousands of years. To stop saying 'yes' to dreams (and nightmares) that are not their own.
I think, if there is such a thing as evolution, which I believe there is, then humanity has spent long enough toiling through it's 'Teen' years, has experienced enough damage experimenting with drugs and other toxins, and needs , in order to carry on being 'Alive', to 'evolve' into adulthood, taking responsibility for ones actions, as adults do, and teenagers generally don't. We all have the choice. Enough damage done! Time for a different mindset to come into being. They do say...'It's darkest before dawn'.
This is so timely for two different pieces I'm working on right now, Meredith! I especially appreciate your introducing me to "hoovering" (I've likely heard it but didn't fully absorb the concept until you presented it here). We are always so in sync 💞
my understanding is that they're asking unvaxxed to return to military, but HAVE NOT rescinded vax mandate. IOW, in a rather religiously symbolic gesture, confess you were wrong, get vaxxed/boosted & be welcomed back to the military community who loves you! : )
How do we deal with those architects of covid democide who say no injury has occurred, perhaps even believe it themselves, and are untouchable, surrounded by military force and the stupidity and self-gaslighting of our co-citizens?
I have decided to change my own expectations: that there will be no human-scale justice from the same system and co-citizens that wanted us dead in the first place.
Thank you for bringing Brad Miller's work to our attention. Yes, we've all experienced moral injury. There is little hope for atonement for the men and women of the military if one considers that the covid plandemic itself is a DOD operation. Thank you for calling out the attempt at gaslighting the enlisted men and women, and the general public. Yes, like all psychopaths, they will never admit their wrong, double down, and repeat a winning strategy. Brigadier General Hope, who can't even spell 'mililary', giving us a glimpse of how deep is her connection to the military. One thing to remember before election time is that our commander in chief , President Trump, never protected our troops against this mandate, to the contrary.
The author of the infamous OWS still says it saved millions and has failed to acknowledge the democide. Can you imagine that degree of gaslighting? Yet, people still participate in the political charade expecting a different outcome!
I understand that the people drafting this letter to discharged military personnel have to be very careful about the potential liability for the harm that was done, nonetheless, the wording makes my skin crawl. Putting the onus on the members to " request a correction to their military records". Making them jump through more hoops rather than just restoring the members' records to good standing and taking them off the naughty list. Totally ignoring the violation. "Hey you tried to force me to inject something into my body." "Oh.. ahhh.. hey fill out these forms and maybe we'll be your friend." It does just reek of an abusive relationship. Things will get better when we give our energy to systems that respect human relationships.
"Hey you tried to force me to inject something into my body." Worse, something unproven, something that was not what it purported to be, something that was a lie from the very beginning.
Sounds like our families are on the same page...process and hopeful.
I again will thank Meredith for sharing her insights...she is not the compass nor is she the light, but she is definitely a soft voice in the distance that says...I think this is the way...follow-it.
Excellent as usual Meredith, Moral Injury is indeed something I've suffered much of, so much it lead to me researching Narcissists.... they understand on a fundamental level that causing you moral injury is an injury they can pretend doesn't exist. What Narcissist could resist that power fantasy
-->
I can hurt you anytime and you can't hold me accountable now be a good little slave or else (read the sentence again)....
When you mentioned expectations I decided you should read into all the ways they attack your expectations.
Devaluing Expectations - Nothing you do is ever enough, you are to never expect your efforts will ever be enough but are expected to pay up all the same
Invalidating Expectations - No good deed goes unpunished, you aren’t skilled you just got lucky. You won’t be given credit where credit is due. You are purposefully not being evaluated at all
Subverting Expectations - Ex. Future Faking, You can’t expect them to keep their word, they don’t but to accuse them of this truth is forbidden.
Averting Expectations - Typically they turtle (warfare tactic), withhold and hide answers from you. They are evading responsibility and accountability. They aren’t telling you the truth that they are purposefully sabotaging your efforts and keeping dark secrets from you.
Shifting Expectations / Moving the goalposts - Maybe they can get by on some lies to buy them some time, maybe give you some gifts or do something else you may want done, but not the important thing you want done.
Sacrificing Expectations - Typically this involves the target expectations being distorted through FOGS (Fear, Obligation, Guilt, Sympathy). Emotional Blackmail that coerces the target to give them a free pass be it by denying, minimizing, magnifying, rationalizing/excusing, romanticizing, normalizing, idolizing, demonizing, etc. by drinking up whatever poison the victim-mimic is offering. By sacrificing your expectations to them, they gain control of your decisions. The decisions they’ll make for you aren’t in your best interest. Forgiving and Forgetting only enables the manipulator/the abuser to get away with it and do it again.
"Sacrifice" does not mean the rejection of the worthless, but of the precious. "Sacrifice" does not mean the rejection of the evil for the sake of the good, but of the good for the sake of the evil. "Sacrifice" is the surrender of that which you value in favor of that which you don’t.
For a man of moral stature, whose desires are born of rational values, sacrifice is the surrender of the right to the wrong, of the good to the evil.
Deceiving Expectations - This is where you think they meet or succeed your expectations, but you were deceived. Maybe someone else did their homework for them, maybe they are repeating lines they heard in the recent popular movie…. they’re always taking credit for another's work. Whoever it was that did the good thing, it wasn’t them that passed the test.
Unfair/Impossible Standards - Ex. You must always please me and if you can’t you’re evil. Treat the child with the standards and responsibilities of an adult and/or designated scapegoat.
Double Standards/Hypocrisy - Rules for thee, not for me. Ex. Future Faking, You are to expect them to keep their word but when they don’t, to accuse them of this truth is forbidden. You however, are always guilty of any accusation.
Take note that surpassing your expectations isn’t on the menu. This is because you need to be conditioned to settle for scraps… it’s counter-productive to make it harder to condition you later. If Love Bombing is surpassing your expectations, consider yourself already conditioned.
All these attacks with a specific goal to lower and/or eliminate your expectations and even standards.
None of this is by accident, this is a purposeful destructive conditioning regiment you never opted in for but also aren’t allowed to opt out of. Says who? Them. They decide your expectations.
Does that sound good to you? It isn’t going to be good to you or your health.
Source: https://narcissistanalysis.quora.com/The-Victim-Mimic-Attacks-Your-Expectations
Thank you for the correlation for what happened to our service members to what happens in family systems where similar scapegoating, retraumatization and moral injury occurs. Maybe with such an example healing not only for our vets will happen but families as well. They deserve better as does anyone who has suffered such.
Thank you so much for this article. It has opened my eyes to what I've been feeling at my workplace over the past 3.5+ years. All of the gaslighting, implicit and explicit lies, all in the name of public health/safety. None of it making the least bit of sense. Never an apology for anything. Never an indication of remorse their horrendous behavior.
After years of abuse and being vilified for pointing out exactly where and how they were wrong about literally everything, I now feel like I'm personally under assault at even the most mundane corporate bureaucratic stupidity. Know anybody looking for a highly experienced and very capable analytical QC chemist/metrologist? 😂
My wife and I were members of the Watchtower Bible, and Tract Society (JW) for a combined 80+ years, but after the gaslighting and overt manipulation carried out by the GB (Governing Body), we separated ourselves. The Scamdemic was our frying pan moment combined with the GB "strongly encouraging" vaccinations and masks, in addition a 3+ year closure of the Kingdom Halls, Ministry and personal contact with friends we WOKE UP! We have not left God...as a matter a fact, we opened our eyes to Jehovah's only means of salvation - Jesus Chris our Lord and Savior, to the glory of the Father. We did suffer, during the separation phase, but did not leave God and his Son and we also had our marriage for support and have now widened out in our world view and our developing new, healthier relationships/friends and coming to grips with the scale of abuse we allowed/experienced. Our Faith in Christ our redeemer and his undeserved kindness has acted as an anchor more and more now. Besides our main source of Guidance - the Bible, we have over time added: Meredith Miller, Jordan Petterson, Peter Attia, Mr. Hubberman, ...and many more. (Life is good) and I hope we can be good nodes in a network and be a force for good as we live out our Christian lives.
Thank you for sharing. I can very much relate to this. I was the child of an indoctrinated JW parent that, although they are not in that version of religion any longer, still does not recognize the authoritarian ‘umbrella’ that is used in so many other facets of abuse systems, relationships. And as a result, tried to gaslight and manipulate me into complying to the mandates as an enabler of the system. I am grateful now for my discernment and education on the topic to face the challenges ahead of us. I find it difficult to trust any organized religious group and rely heavily on a personal relationship with God/Jesus Christ as my life foundation.
Hi Dawn, Thank you for your reply. I do not want to open up pandoras-box here, but would like to comment on your reply as it relates to "difficult to trust any organized religious group". As, we are attempting to navigate through a bit of a puzzler in reference to friends/associates. So, on one hand, we believe that associating with like minded people (Christians) is a provision from God and needed (to varying degrees) with that premise in mind, we are praying that we receive some guidance as to new friendships, focusing on Christian friends and or a building/organization to gather/worship. But on the other hand, we clearly understand now that all of these organized religions, while being mostly a force for good, are limited by their humanity and their opinions...sometimes strong opinions, we are only interested in the Bible and the Bible in it's context and not opinions founded on false premises (JW). Well, I guess I am just trying to say, that it is a process to find good association/mentors/friends and that these people might be found in a church/organization and I think it is Gods will that we take advantage of this provision of Christian association...but of course, this is just our interpretation of what we have read in the narrative/stories of the Bible. Step 1: As you say, personal relationship with God/Christ...Step 2? Well, I guess it is a process. Keep reading God's word...take care, Sister in the Faith.
I appreciate your reply and please let me clarify. The way I see it, difficult does not equate to impossible. We have a church that we like and at the same time, there have been problems with certain members/pastors that have occurred. It goes with the territory of being imperfect humans I suppose. So, discernment is a quality that helps me to deal with and use grace in these types of situations. I agree It is a process and I am hopeful.
The letter you shared wasn’t even personalized. It proves the distain the military has for all those who refused to be inoculated with a biological agent that was never proven safe or effective.
I have forever been amazed at all who have proudly worn the red, white, and blue for the courage and fortitude it takes to fight in foreign wars, leaving family and friends behind sometimes for years at a time, not knowing if they will return whole in body and spirit, or worse.
Ever since the resident of the White House decided with his generals to boot every one out of the military that would not bow down to the pressure of getting vaxxed, I felt instinctively that this was the ending to the long time-honored tradition of serving our country. It appears I was right.
No man or woman should ever be unduly pressured to go against their God given intelligence and rights. I stand with all who refused the vax and all who defied the command and who definitely deserve our allegiance in what was once known as the “shining city on a hill” referring to America!
[hands over head] wondering when this insanity will ever stop. I'm grateful to you, Meredith, for giving understanding to what's going on. When other people see the craziness I settle right down.
This is an excellent analysis of moral injury and all the ways that an individual and group can become morally injured and long term consequences of this trauma. I especially appreciate how you grounded it in experiences of being in abusive relationships and the various traumas that impact an individual who is protecting themselves and others from an abuser's actions. Thank you for this piece.
Why have a military at all? Anywhere on earth!...It is time for both men an women worldwide to stop swallowing the BS that those who wish to 'Lead' have been dishing out for thousands of years. To stop saying 'yes' to dreams (and nightmares) that are not their own.
I think, if there is such a thing as evolution, which I believe there is, then humanity has spent long enough toiling through it's 'Teen' years, has experienced enough damage experimenting with drugs and other toxins, and needs , in order to carry on being 'Alive', to 'evolve' into adulthood, taking responsibility for ones actions, as adults do, and teenagers generally don't. We all have the choice. Enough damage done! Time for a different mindset to come into being. They do say...'It's darkest before dawn'.
This is so timely for two different pieces I'm working on right now, Meredith! I especially appreciate your introducing me to "hoovering" (I've likely heard it but didn't fully absorb the concept until you presented it here). We are always so in sync 💞
my understanding is that they're asking unvaxxed to return to military, but HAVE NOT rescinded vax mandate. IOW, in a rather religiously symbolic gesture, confess you were wrong, get vaxxed/boosted & be welcomed back to the military community who loves you! : )
How do we deal with those architects of covid democide who say no injury has occurred, perhaps even believe it themselves, and are untouchable, surrounded by military force and the stupidity and self-gaslighting of our co-citizens?
I have decided to change my own expectations: that there will be no human-scale justice from the same system and co-citizens that wanted us dead in the first place.
Thank you for bringing Brad Miller's work to our attention. Yes, we've all experienced moral injury. There is little hope for atonement for the men and women of the military if one considers that the covid plandemic itself is a DOD operation. Thank you for calling out the attempt at gaslighting the enlisted men and women, and the general public. Yes, like all psychopaths, they will never admit their wrong, double down, and repeat a winning strategy. Brigadier General Hope, who can't even spell 'mililary', giving us a glimpse of how deep is her connection to the military. One thing to remember before election time is that our commander in chief , President Trump, never protected our troops against this mandate, to the contrary.
The author of the infamous OWS still says it saved millions and has failed to acknowledge the democide. Can you imagine that degree of gaslighting? Yet, people still participate in the political charade expecting a different outcome!
There is as much chance of the military caring, let alone any atonement, as abuser giving a heartfelt apology and changing.
A relevant song. DR. GASLIGHT. A doctor causes his patient to question her own sanity. Listen to Turfseer’s hit song. https://turfseer.substack.com/p/dr-gaslight
I understand that the people drafting this letter to discharged military personnel have to be very careful about the potential liability for the harm that was done, nonetheless, the wording makes my skin crawl. Putting the onus on the members to " request a correction to their military records". Making them jump through more hoops rather than just restoring the members' records to good standing and taking them off the naughty list. Totally ignoring the violation. "Hey you tried to force me to inject something into my body." "Oh.. ahhh.. hey fill out these forms and maybe we'll be your friend." It does just reek of an abusive relationship. Things will get better when we give our energy to systems that respect human relationships.
"Hey you tried to force me to inject something into my body." Worse, something unproven, something that was not what it purported to be, something that was a lie from the very beginning.