Still an orphaned elder, but I continue to focus on the brighter future I want to see and feel knowing it is just around the corner. I keep busy meditating, being in nature and IMAGINING and DREAMING of our beautiful future full of light, love, laughter, bliss for all, growing stronger by the power of 10 daily. So glad to have you Meredith as a sister in this adventure. I know our "soul tribe" or "frequency family" members out there are in the 100's of millions, soon to be billions.
Stay away from the many hard hearted, traumatized souls, almost wish a CD for cognitive dissonance would appear on their foreheads to make it easier to deal with them.
To process and heal trauma, space and time are needed to stop reacting to it. In toxic relationships, zero contact is recommended, in addictions, abstinence, but in cases of social madness and shared distorted narratives, only some kind of isolation could help us stop reacting and reactivating the trauma. Day to day is like interacting with our abusive/neglectful family wherever we go, because everyone in society was a victim of the same trauma and most are too busy denying it and covering it up, distracting themselves or reacting to each other and blaming each other.
In solitude, one can feel all those heavy emotions without the possibility of reacting or getting hooked on something external or blaming others. Being alone with your emotions makes it easier to deal with them and see the needs that had been neglected for a long time or to be able to continue healing the family trauma that was about to be processed and that, when all this social layer was added, was postponed.
Nowadays, to be alone or isolated, you must also have zero contact with mass media and social media information.
Isolation is really to protect us from what is toxic, what makes us react to trauma, we can always choose from our conscience to save or allow interaction with those people or online channels that provide and accompany us without creating more toxicity or confusion.
Thank you for your work and contribution Mera, I loved the image of the elephant in the room and everything it represents, also the metaphor of digestion with the recovery process, it's great!
Excellent insights about taking space and time for healing, also going "No Contact" with social situations where that distorted narrative lives, much like in abusive family systems. This is usually necessary, particularly in the early stages of self-healing.
Leaving the social media platforms a few years ago was a huge positive investment in my health, psychologically, spiritually and neurologically. I highly recommend it to others!
It can be really helpful to connect with like-hearted souls when possible, though sometimes people don't have that opportunity during periods of time, other than online.
I agree that the solitude is very helpful for practicing self-regulation, feeling and processing emotions, as well as identifying and resolving the generational trauma. This is a step a lot of people skip because it's easier to fill the existential void through vices like avoiding the feelings of loneliness by looking for others to rescue them from their feelings.
P.S. Your English keeps getting better and better! It reads like a native speaker.
I was just watching a documentary about the Galapagos Islands and how geographic isolation allowed the same species to evolve rapidly into a different, new one.
I also feel that when the world seems to be going upside down, isolating myself and creating my own stimuli that condition me in a useful way makes me evolve into a new me.
Once I stop reacting, that's when I can also influence and condition others, from a more useful or conscious place.
Thanks for the compliment, but I'm afraid the credit goes entirely to Google Translator.
Fascinating about the isolation of species leading to rapid evolution! I’m going to cite that when people say something is wrong with me for enjoying so much time alone. I am seeing very positive results. Un abrazote!
“Blessed are the kids whose parents are taking on the responsibility of doing their inner healing work, and brighter is their future because of it.“ I am trying so hard to live that with my beautiful 8 yo girl. We have talks about light and shadow, about how adversity is not only unavoidable but is in fact desirable, about what it means to be conscious and unafraid. I almost died physically, and I died a metaphysical death, but I look at her sometimes with tears in my eyes, risen, prepared to share and teach. I’m trying to make her arc not the template of innocence to experience but from truth to even deeper truth. Clara. She’s my javelin, and I’ll send her sailing through time. A message in As, Cs, Ts, and Gs. A little poem, from my heart to the future’s.
Yes, Meredith! Great essay. You are singing my song! I'm working on a piece for tomorrow that illustrates my own personal healing shift; it mirrors the shift we need on a macro-societal level -- from powerless to powerful.
In the meantime, here's a poem called "Survival is Not Healing" that speaks to that very elephant in the room:
In the beginning you say that 'when we can't talk about it self-healing is blocked,' but then say 'storytelling mode...is incredibly draining on the people who choose to be around you."
If we cannot pay someone to speak to us because they are mostly all in the narrative, and our 'storytelling drains the people who choose to be around us' what on earth are we meant to do?
But yeah, I can imagine how most therapists would label you as Oppositional Defiance Disorder or some other jacked up bullshit for questioning the obvious conspiracy of democide around COVID and the jabs.
Crazy making and gaslighting started by authorities and amplified by society, just like in an abusive household where everyone is afraid to step out of the normalization of this behavior.
It’s about the stages of healing. We have to talk about it to start the healing process. But often people get stuck in the victim/storytelling phase and don’t move forward through the healing process. That’s where it becomes draining on others who are healing and developing resilience, who no longer want to keep re-telling or hearing the same stories from a victim state of consciousness.
Last week someone sent me a man who was jab-injured and had lost extended family to the jab. This man had been trying to tell his story and no one would believe him or listen to his story of suffering. The sender knew that I would listen to this man.
These past four years we have lost people to suicide because people have turned away from the suffering. These past four years I have personally suffered more than I imagined possible.
Imagine if I had turned this man away because I said 'your story is too draining for me. I don't want to know about it. I am healing and developing resiliance - go away.'
I will sit with them in the gutter, in their pain, and listen. If, like the perpetrators, others want to push people away in order to 'not become drained' that is their choice.
I choose to listen despite the immense personal cost, because I do not serve myself. I serve God.
@ExcessDeathsAU Thank you for bringing this up. Your reaction helped me realize that in the book I'll need to provide more context and examples to illustrate the difference between needing to tell one's story in the early stage of healing, and getting stuck in the storytelling stage of healing. Perhaps others could be interpreting what I said in a black-and-white way and not see the important nuance here.
There are stages of the healing process. Early on, a person needs to tell their story and be heard. Talking is an important part of the healing process AND talking doesn't heal the trauma because the trauma isn't stored in the conscious part of the mind. When a person is stuck in the talking/storytelling stage, they're defensive and not ready to heal. If another person tries to help them heal, they will resist it because they only want to talk about those who have hurt them and what happened to them.
It's great you were the first person who was able to hear that man's story. That was an important moment in his healing journey because he needed to be able to talk about it with someone who could hear him. Until that point, no one was willing to hear him or believe him.
A different example would be if you had a friend who was hurt by her ex or someone else and she kept telling you that story over and over again during months or years. Naturally, the first few times you might want to offer her empathy and hear her story, offering her comfort and reassuring her. But she keeps telling you the same story over and over and that starts to get draining. Then maybe you offer some advice or suggestions or a new perspective. But she is so stuck she can't hear you and instead she keeps storytelling, or she gets defensive and angry that you won't continue to listen to the same story again and again, or perhaps she placates you as if she's going to take your advice and take some kind of action to start healing, but she doesn't. The next time you see her or get a call from her, she just wants to keep telling you the same story of how people hurt her and how much she's suffering because of it.
In the second example, if you continue to be the venting bin for your friend, you're not doing her any good. You're only exhausting and draining yourself with someone who is not (yet) willing to take responsibility for herself and her life now, in order to participate in her own healing. In the process of continuing to be her venting bin, you'd lose your sense of self, your self-care, self-esteem, self-worth, focus, and a lot more. That would be considered martyr programming and it's not healthy. Instead of listening to her telling the story over and over again, you could be spending your time and energy healing yourself, setting healthy boundaries including self-care practices so that you can continue to give to the people in your life who actually want to heal and grow.
Hopefully that makes the nuance more clear between someone going through the natural stages of healing vs. someone stuck in a particular stage of the process where they are unwilling to recognize it for themselves or take any action to shift their perspective and behavior toward growth, expecting other people to just continue to serve as their venting bin and sacrificing themselves in the process.
That God is similar to the authorities who forced us to sacrifice ourselves (by getting vaccinated) by taking responsibility for the pain and well-being of the rest of the world. Help, as well as love, must come from self-love or self-help.
We should be free and responsible to choose to help only when we are really willing to do so without harming ourselves. If not, that borders on self-abuse or negligence, and from there we will be able to offer little real help.
We can soothe the pain of others as drugs do, and only make that person depend on us to survive and bear their pain. We can also soothe our pain by focusing on caring for the pain of other people, but after doing so, our pain will still be waiting for us where we left it. Only we can care for our pain and rescue ourselves.
I consider that helping and accompanying people so that they can do this for themselves is real help, and all of this must start with the example of how we manage our own pain, much more than anything we can say...
Codependency is a hard drug accepted and valued by society, just like work addiction. But it is also possible to get out of it.
"Help, as well as love, must come from self-love or self-help." This is so true but from my experience the bible almost hammered me into oblivion. I survived, but still struggle with self-acceptance and self-love. To juxtapose 'sinner destined for hell' with 'Jesus loves you' is a psychotic problem-reaction-solution message-tactic if ever I heard one; and it took me over a decade through my 20s to figure it out. "But it is also possible to get out of it." True, but it's a hard road.
I haven't had a vaxx in nearly 50 years, thankfully.
Thank you for this insightful and meaningful post. Here are some thoughts that might further improve this important topic. One aspect that might be considered and included is using feedback loops for process monitoring, evaluation, and improvement. Many of today's challenges are unprecedented in ways that have never been encountered before. Without proven strategies one often has to do their own unique research and then develop their own strategies. The most meaningful goals are often the most challenging. One may encounter failure. Failures are learning opportunities. It can be challenging to look at the failures for what they really are, not avoid them, learn from them, adjust, and keep trying. Process optimization engineering has some well defined techniques for AI automated system predictive modeling that can often be useful in evaluating several possible futures and choosing what appears to be the best one. Tuning in this type of engineering often is critical for success. Tuning measures past predictions and attempts to improve them. If one's models are not tuned to represent reality to the greatest possible level, then one's modeling can improve by tuning. Perhaps some of these concepts can be adapted to the work you are doing? Thanks again.
Still an orphaned elder, but I continue to focus on the brighter future I want to see and feel knowing it is just around the corner. I keep busy meditating, being in nature and IMAGINING and DREAMING of our beautiful future full of light, love, laughter, bliss for all, growing stronger by the power of 10 daily. So glad to have you Meredith as a sister in this adventure. I know our "soul tribe" or "frequency family" members out there are in the 100's of millions, soon to be billions.
Stay away from the many hard hearted, traumatized souls, almost wish a CD for cognitive dissonance would appear on their foreheads to make it easier to deal with them.
To process and heal trauma, space and time are needed to stop reacting to it. In toxic relationships, zero contact is recommended, in addictions, abstinence, but in cases of social madness and shared distorted narratives, only some kind of isolation could help us stop reacting and reactivating the trauma. Day to day is like interacting with our abusive/neglectful family wherever we go, because everyone in society was a victim of the same trauma and most are too busy denying it and covering it up, distracting themselves or reacting to each other and blaming each other.
In solitude, one can feel all those heavy emotions without the possibility of reacting or getting hooked on something external or blaming others. Being alone with your emotions makes it easier to deal with them and see the needs that had been neglected for a long time or to be able to continue healing the family trauma that was about to be processed and that, when all this social layer was added, was postponed.
Nowadays, to be alone or isolated, you must also have zero contact with mass media and social media information.
Isolation is really to protect us from what is toxic, what makes us react to trauma, we can always choose from our conscience to save or allow interaction with those people or online channels that provide and accompany us without creating more toxicity or confusion.
Thank you for your work and contribution Mera, I loved the image of the elephant in the room and everything it represents, also the metaphor of digestion with the recovery process, it's great!
Excellent insights about taking space and time for healing, also going "No Contact" with social situations where that distorted narrative lives, much like in abusive family systems. This is usually necessary, particularly in the early stages of self-healing.
Leaving the social media platforms a few years ago was a huge positive investment in my health, psychologically, spiritually and neurologically. I highly recommend it to others!
It can be really helpful to connect with like-hearted souls when possible, though sometimes people don't have that opportunity during periods of time, other than online.
I agree that the solitude is very helpful for practicing self-regulation, feeling and processing emotions, as well as identifying and resolving the generational trauma. This is a step a lot of people skip because it's easier to fill the existential void through vices like avoiding the feelings of loneliness by looking for others to rescue them from their feelings.
P.S. Your English keeps getting better and better! It reads like a native speaker.
I was just watching a documentary about the Galapagos Islands and how geographic isolation allowed the same species to evolve rapidly into a different, new one.
I also feel that when the world seems to be going upside down, isolating myself and creating my own stimuli that condition me in a useful way makes me evolve into a new me.
Once I stop reacting, that's when I can also influence and condition others, from a more useful or conscious place.
Thanks for the compliment, but I'm afraid the credit goes entirely to Google Translator.
A big hug, Mera
Fascinating about the isolation of species leading to rapid evolution! I’m going to cite that when people say something is wrong with me for enjoying so much time alone. I am seeing very positive results. Un abrazote!
So glad someone is addressing this .
Thank you !
That image reminds me of the work of MAD Magazine’s Al Jaffee; looks like one of his “fold-ins”.
.. every wave .. of each size .. in all oceans .. is connected .. to the ground of sea .. contact is the wave .. that reaches the self ..
“Blessed are the kids whose parents are taking on the responsibility of doing their inner healing work, and brighter is their future because of it.“ I am trying so hard to live that with my beautiful 8 yo girl. We have talks about light and shadow, about how adversity is not only unavoidable but is in fact desirable, about what it means to be conscious and unafraid. I almost died physically, and I died a metaphysical death, but I look at her sometimes with tears in my eyes, risen, prepared to share and teach. I’m trying to make her arc not the template of innocence to experience but from truth to even deeper truth. Clara. She’s my javelin, and I’ll send her sailing through time. A message in As, Cs, Ts, and Gs. A little poem, from my heart to the future’s.
Yes, Meredith! Great essay. You are singing my song! I'm working on a piece for tomorrow that illustrates my own personal healing shift; it mirrors the shift we need on a macro-societal level -- from powerless to powerful.
In the meantime, here's a poem called "Survival is Not Healing" that speaks to that very elephant in the room:
https://marypoindextermclaughlin.substack.com/p/survival-is-not-healing?utm_source=publication-search
So happy to have found you. And so happy you were able to make it to Michael's service. It meant so very much to MAA... ❤️
In the beginning you say that 'when we can't talk about it self-healing is blocked,' but then say 'storytelling mode...is incredibly draining on the people who choose to be around you."
If we cannot pay someone to speak to us because they are mostly all in the narrative, and our 'storytelling drains the people who choose to be around us' what on earth are we meant to do?
That's why we talk about it online, anonymously.
But yeah, I can imagine how most therapists would label you as Oppositional Defiance Disorder or some other jacked up bullshit for questioning the obvious conspiracy of democide around COVID and the jabs.
Crazy making and gaslighting started by authorities and amplified by society, just like in an abusive household where everyone is afraid to step out of the normalization of this behavior.
It’s about the stages of healing. We have to talk about it to start the healing process. But often people get stuck in the victim/storytelling phase and don’t move forward through the healing process. That’s where it becomes draining on others who are healing and developing resilience, who no longer want to keep re-telling or hearing the same stories from a victim state of consciousness.
Last week someone sent me a man who was jab-injured and had lost extended family to the jab. This man had been trying to tell his story and no one would believe him or listen to his story of suffering. The sender knew that I would listen to this man.
These past four years we have lost people to suicide because people have turned away from the suffering. These past four years I have personally suffered more than I imagined possible.
Imagine if I had turned this man away because I said 'your story is too draining for me. I don't want to know about it. I am healing and developing resiliance - go away.'
I will sit with them in the gutter, in their pain, and listen. If, like the perpetrators, others want to push people away in order to 'not become drained' that is their choice.
I choose to listen despite the immense personal cost, because I do not serve myself. I serve God.
@ExcessDeathsAU Thank you for bringing this up. Your reaction helped me realize that in the book I'll need to provide more context and examples to illustrate the difference between needing to tell one's story in the early stage of healing, and getting stuck in the storytelling stage of healing. Perhaps others could be interpreting what I said in a black-and-white way and not see the important nuance here.
There are stages of the healing process. Early on, a person needs to tell their story and be heard. Talking is an important part of the healing process AND talking doesn't heal the trauma because the trauma isn't stored in the conscious part of the mind. When a person is stuck in the talking/storytelling stage, they're defensive and not ready to heal. If another person tries to help them heal, they will resist it because they only want to talk about those who have hurt them and what happened to them.
It's great you were the first person who was able to hear that man's story. That was an important moment in his healing journey because he needed to be able to talk about it with someone who could hear him. Until that point, no one was willing to hear him or believe him.
A different example would be if you had a friend who was hurt by her ex or someone else and she kept telling you that story over and over again during months or years. Naturally, the first few times you might want to offer her empathy and hear her story, offering her comfort and reassuring her. But she keeps telling you the same story over and over and that starts to get draining. Then maybe you offer some advice or suggestions or a new perspective. But she is so stuck she can't hear you and instead she keeps storytelling, or she gets defensive and angry that you won't continue to listen to the same story again and again, or perhaps she placates you as if she's going to take your advice and take some kind of action to start healing, but she doesn't. The next time you see her or get a call from her, she just wants to keep telling you the same story of how people hurt her and how much she's suffering because of it.
In the second example, if you continue to be the venting bin for your friend, you're not doing her any good. You're only exhausting and draining yourself with someone who is not (yet) willing to take responsibility for herself and her life now, in order to participate in her own healing. In the process of continuing to be her venting bin, you'd lose your sense of self, your self-care, self-esteem, self-worth, focus, and a lot more. That would be considered martyr programming and it's not healthy. Instead of listening to her telling the story over and over again, you could be spending your time and energy healing yourself, setting healthy boundaries including self-care practices so that you can continue to give to the people in your life who actually want to heal and grow.
Hopefully that makes the nuance more clear between someone going through the natural stages of healing vs. someone stuck in a particular stage of the process where they are unwilling to recognize it for themselves or take any action to shift their perspective and behavior toward growth, expecting other people to just continue to serve as their venting bin and sacrificing themselves in the process.
That God is similar to the authorities who forced us to sacrifice ourselves (by getting vaccinated) by taking responsibility for the pain and well-being of the rest of the world. Help, as well as love, must come from self-love or self-help.
We should be free and responsible to choose to help only when we are really willing to do so without harming ourselves. If not, that borders on self-abuse or negligence, and from there we will be able to offer little real help.
We can soothe the pain of others as drugs do, and only make that person depend on us to survive and bear their pain. We can also soothe our pain by focusing on caring for the pain of other people, but after doing so, our pain will still be waiting for us where we left it. Only we can care for our pain and rescue ourselves.
I consider that helping and accompanying people so that they can do this for themselves is real help, and all of this must start with the example of how we manage our own pain, much more than anything we can say...
Codependency is a hard drug accepted and valued by society, just like work addiction. But it is also possible to get out of it.
"Help, as well as love, must come from self-love or self-help." This is so true but from my experience the bible almost hammered me into oblivion. I survived, but still struggle with self-acceptance and self-love. To juxtapose 'sinner destined for hell' with 'Jesus loves you' is a psychotic problem-reaction-solution message-tactic if ever I heard one; and it took me over a decade through my 20s to figure it out. "But it is also possible to get out of it." True, but it's a hard road.
I haven't had a vaxx in nearly 50 years, thankfully.
Thank you for this insightful and meaningful post. Here are some thoughts that might further improve this important topic. One aspect that might be considered and included is using feedback loops for process monitoring, evaluation, and improvement. Many of today's challenges are unprecedented in ways that have never been encountered before. Without proven strategies one often has to do their own unique research and then develop their own strategies. The most meaningful goals are often the most challenging. One may encounter failure. Failures are learning opportunities. It can be challenging to look at the failures for what they really are, not avoid them, learn from them, adjust, and keep trying. Process optimization engineering has some well defined techniques for AI automated system predictive modeling that can often be useful in evaluating several possible futures and choosing what appears to be the best one. Tuning in this type of engineering often is critical for success. Tuning measures past predictions and attempts to improve them. If one's models are not tuned to represent reality to the greatest possible level, then one's modeling can improve by tuning. Perhaps some of these concepts can be adapted to the work you are doing? Thanks again.