Trust is breaking down in a lot of circles. In some cases it is not bad because it needs to break down. There are people that are lying to us that are finally being found out. For those who haven't gone through the personal process of losing everything, it can be scary. But like you say, transformation is possible and I just keep trying to remind my loved ones that I believe in them and believe they will make it through.
That’s a good point about the personal transformational process of losing everything and having to rebuild. It’s scary indeed even if you’ve been through it once or several times.
What a wonderful piece, Meredith. And yes I identify with Jeff (comments below) who knows what it's like to lose everything. After being dumped by a friend of 54 years (and others in my immediate circle) I ended up in quiet solitude and found I liked it quite a bit--as opposed to friends and family who chastised me for my beliefs, and could not accept me for who I am and the person I changed to be as I learn and grow. Everyone had a model of me that they liked, and stupid me would put on an act trying to be accepted. Enough of that!!! It made me realize how hard I worked trying to get people to like me, and that it was due to past trauma, with a mother who was under assault from her mother and my father, and passed that anxiety on. I read Hubl, also, and love his ideas for healing society. Besides your work Meredith, I also like reading (and watching podcasts) of Dr. Gabor Mate, who has done brilliant work on generational trauma. Blessings to you, thank you so much for your wisdom.
The codependency pattern you describe is a common trauma response. When Dr Mate read the obituaries of people who selflessly always put others first and how it will lead to an early death, that was eye opening. I found a lot of valuable wisdom in his work until recently. We all have our blind spots from unresolved trauma.
That's so true. It's kind of easier for me to believe everyone is doing the best they can in these strange awful times. We lost having common values and morals, and so it makes it a free-for-all. That's why I like Hubl's idea so much in how to do group healing--sitting witness in kindness and compassion to what we all have gone through.
I think those of us that have been harmed by those we trust see the reality. This is the state of society, to reward liars and manipulators... They are our heroes and saints.
The problem is that I used to think I was the wrong one, to see the issues of what's going on. I was called pessimistic for that. It made me angry, because it was a form of gaslighting.
But now I do not think I am pessimistic and am not angry being called that. I am a realist!
I no longer trust those that turn a blind eye to the elephant in the room, the reality that people refuse to acknowledge.
Finally, we put standards on trust. Trust, but verify. If it doesn't check out, it's usually bullshit.
Exactly! It is realism to call out the abuse. But the abusers and their enablers will call you negative or other terms to silence you and gaslight you to feel like you're the one with the problem. In my last Substack on the Golden Child Syndrome I quoted a doctor in Australia who was told by her colleagues that she was "going down the misery train" when she tried to bring up vax injuries. I agree with you that I don't trust those who are turning a blind eye to what's happening. They're not allies. They're enablers by default.
“The path to the repair and restoration of trust involves returning to the truth. “ I love this point. It helped me understand why I’ve been able to trust someone again (slowly, gradually) after they betrayed me. There are people we can likely never trust because they are programmed to be utterly self serving, but I trust in the human condition that we are all flawed in varying degrees by our egos and equally perfect in soul/spirit, and that the way this unfolds in life follows some sacred order. The process of creative destruction can feel brutal but leads to the rediscovery of what is truly beautiful and indestructible. I believe our society is going through a transformation not just because of the power hungry bad apples causing it to implode, but because we’ve become too disconnected on a whole from our true source. The bad apples are catalysts to this transformation. They will eventually rot to compost and nourish our new growth.
“Creative destruction” great term for the transformational process. Also love that about the rediscovery of what is truly beautiful and indestructible. I also agree that part of this is the controlled demolition but another part is how we have disconnected from our true source. Dr Zelenko said recently that after this process unfolds, the world will have knowledge of God. That will be a silver lining indeed.
Oh you absolutely need to play the free game The Evolution of Trust by Nicky Case.
It pretty much proves with math that trust can only form under certain conditions and we're purposefully being kept from those conditions. It truly is divide and rule.
Trust is breaking down in a lot of circles. In some cases it is not bad because it needs to break down. There are people that are lying to us that are finally being found out. For those who haven't gone through the personal process of losing everything, it can be scary. But like you say, transformation is possible and I just keep trying to remind my loved ones that I believe in them and believe they will make it through.
That’s a good point about the personal transformational process of losing everything and having to rebuild. It’s scary indeed even if you’ve been through it once or several times.
What a wonderful piece, Meredith. And yes I identify with Jeff (comments below) who knows what it's like to lose everything. After being dumped by a friend of 54 years (and others in my immediate circle) I ended up in quiet solitude and found I liked it quite a bit--as opposed to friends and family who chastised me for my beliefs, and could not accept me for who I am and the person I changed to be as I learn and grow. Everyone had a model of me that they liked, and stupid me would put on an act trying to be accepted. Enough of that!!! It made me realize how hard I worked trying to get people to like me, and that it was due to past trauma, with a mother who was under assault from her mother and my father, and passed that anxiety on. I read Hubl, also, and love his ideas for healing society. Besides your work Meredith, I also like reading (and watching podcasts) of Dr. Gabor Mate, who has done brilliant work on generational trauma. Blessings to you, thank you so much for your wisdom.
The codependency pattern you describe is a common trauma response. When Dr Mate read the obituaries of people who selflessly always put others first and how it will lead to an early death, that was eye opening. I found a lot of valuable wisdom in his work until recently. We all have our blind spots from unresolved trauma.
That's so true. It's kind of easier for me to believe everyone is doing the best they can in these strange awful times. We lost having common values and morals, and so it makes it a free-for-all. That's why I like Hubl's idea so much in how to do group healing--sitting witness in kindness and compassion to what we all have gone through.
Thank you, Wise and Guiding. The vision of "the innate faith that a seed must have.." awakens hope and commitment.
Wow!
I think those of us that have been harmed by those we trust see the reality. This is the state of society, to reward liars and manipulators... They are our heroes and saints.
The problem is that I used to think I was the wrong one, to see the issues of what's going on. I was called pessimistic for that. It made me angry, because it was a form of gaslighting.
But now I do not think I am pessimistic and am not angry being called that. I am a realist!
I no longer trust those that turn a blind eye to the elephant in the room, the reality that people refuse to acknowledge.
Finally, we put standards on trust. Trust, but verify. If it doesn't check out, it's usually bullshit.
Exactly! It is realism to call out the abuse. But the abusers and their enablers will call you negative or other terms to silence you and gaslight you to feel like you're the one with the problem. In my last Substack on the Golden Child Syndrome I quoted a doctor in Australia who was told by her colleagues that she was "going down the misery train" when she tried to bring up vax injuries. I agree with you that I don't trust those who are turning a blind eye to what's happening. They're not allies. They're enablers by default.
“The path to the repair and restoration of trust involves returning to the truth. “ I love this point. It helped me understand why I’ve been able to trust someone again (slowly, gradually) after they betrayed me. There are people we can likely never trust because they are programmed to be utterly self serving, but I trust in the human condition that we are all flawed in varying degrees by our egos and equally perfect in soul/spirit, and that the way this unfolds in life follows some sacred order. The process of creative destruction can feel brutal but leads to the rediscovery of what is truly beautiful and indestructible. I believe our society is going through a transformation not just because of the power hungry bad apples causing it to implode, but because we’ve become too disconnected on a whole from our true source. The bad apples are catalysts to this transformation. They will eventually rot to compost and nourish our new growth.
“Creative destruction” great term for the transformational process. Also love that about the rediscovery of what is truly beautiful and indestructible. I also agree that part of this is the controlled demolition but another part is how we have disconnected from our true source. Dr Zelenko said recently that after this process unfolds, the world will have knowledge of God. That will be a silver lining indeed.
Amen to that! In a world of Lysenkos, be a Zelenko.
Thanks Mere!
Very well-said, Meredith.
Oh you absolutely need to play the free game The Evolution of Trust by Nicky Case.
It pretty much proves with math that trust can only form under certain conditions and we're purposefully being kept from those conditions. It truly is divide and rule.
https://ncase.me/trust/