Hola Meredith. Gracias por estar para las personas que nos sentimos atrapadas en medio de todo esto.
Tengo 37 años estoy sola pasando por un momento raro.
Por el momento sos la única persona en la que confío. No participas del abuso colectivo, no te vendes. Gracias. Soy una persona como cualquier otra persona, pero hace un tiempo muchos empezaron a vigilarme a través de todos mis dispositivos, celulares, notebook. Son personas algunas famosas. No sé cuál fue el primer objetivo que tuvieron al decidir esto. Pero ven lo que escribo y me responden por redes sociales. No publico nada en redes sociales, esta es una excepción. Yo solo escribo en block de notas de mis dispositivos. Ellos responden. Cada vez son más personas. Pareciera que me pidieran que haga algo por mi bien, me dan consejos, hay muchos "guías" que parecieran querer ayudarme. De lo que causaron ellos mismos, estoy con apatía y ya no quiero hacer lo que siempre amé que es la música, porque siento que no tengo privacidad y que esperan algo de mi que yo no hablé ni prometí a nadie, que cuando intenté hacer algo me pedían que lo arreglara y se reían. Nunca tuve la intención de participar en un casting. No sé por qué me siguen. Pero estoy bloqueada. Todo esto está logrando un crecimiento espiritual en mi. Ya van 4 años que dejé de hacer cosas porque siento que vinieron a ponerme un candado. Ellos me piden que actúe, me dicen que no me van a salvar. Pero ellos lo generaron. Cuando escribo diciendo que ellos son los culpables, me responden que tengo que soltar el control, superar el miedo. Cada cosa que digo intentan tirarlo abajo, contradecirlo y siento como si me hipnotizaran y minimizaran todas mis opiniones. Me remarcan los defectos porque son perfeccionistas y cuando ya no quiero actuar por sentirme juzgada por su perfeccionismo me dicen que tengo que superar el perfeccionismo. Siento que me cortaron las alas, que es un abuso colectivo mundial y que todos se muestran compasivos conmigo, haciendo cosas para que yo esté feliz. Pero si yo digo que estoy feliz. Me dicen que acepte el sufrimiento.
No entienden que yo puedo ser feliz sin las cuestiones del ego, sin dinero reconocimiento, pero se muestran sufriendo por mi y cuando yo me sentía feliz y lograban ponerme mal , sin existir una verdadera razón. Pareciera que intentan decirme que tienen o vieron videos íntimos míos. No sé si viene de mi ex pareja que también era narcisista como todos ellos y logré dejar hace 4 años. Intento decirles que hay muchas personas sufriendo en el mundo como para que estén centrados en mi o apenados por mi situación, que lo único que no hago es publicar por redes sociales y no perseguir la fama. Quieren que haga eso y cuánto más tiempo sigo en soledad más me doy cuenta que el camino del ego está llevando a la destrucción del mundo. Pero me dicen que acepte que no tengo el control sobre las cosas que pasan en el mundo. Me hace mal ver como roban niños , los abusan y la gente sigue como si nada compitiendo entre egos. Cuando en realidad somos todos uno, somos lo mismo.
Ven que cada vez pareciera encerrarme más pero ninguno me llama para decirme que todo es verdad. Solo me responden, pero no me nombran. El peor trauma fue generado por ellos y mi única manera de salvarme es la meditación, y apagar los dispositivos, pero siento tener una adicción a ellos y estoy luchando con eso, con el hipnotismo. Si le cuento todo esto a un psiquiatra me da medicamentos, nadie me cree. Y ellos piensan que está bien lo que están haciendo. Además muchas veces se burlan de mi de las cosas que digo o por haberme espiado con la cámara. O me ilumino o termino esquizofrénica. No tengo alucinaciones, soy una persona normal. Que como empezaron a espiarme tuve que decidir dejar el mundo de la música, actuación. Y cada día me doy cuenta que aunque me prometan todo el oro del mundo ya no quiero colaborar con la destrucción. Dicen que para llegar al éxito primero hay que sufrir, esforzarse, hacerte fuerte con todos los golpes que te dan, para cuando llegues puedas mirar de arriba a todos los demás. Y ese no es mi objetivo de hacer arte. Ni mi definición de éxito. Prefiero no recibir maltrato, dejar todo para ir a vivir al medio de la nada, sin dispositivos, celulares, computadoras. No quiero que me espíen, ni controlen más. Quieren hacerme decidir entre un bando u otro y yo no tengo intenciones de dividir. Intento mostrarme vulnerable para saber en quién puedo confiar. Pero la realidad es que si me espían, no puedo confiar en nadie. Gracias por acompañarme en estos 4 años de Soledad. Cada día siento que soy más feliz. Si no estarían espiandome sería perfecto, pero trato de sacar lo bueno, todo el crecimiento espiritual y como lograron alejarme de lo que no es importante en la vida. Si escribo en un papel no me responden. Estoy un 98 % segura de que no estoy loca jaja. Gracias. Abrazos!
So cool to stumble upon Meredith in Substack again! Her YouTube channel kind of saved my life when I was in the midst of back to back cluster B abusive relationships 2016 through 21. Such a wonderful human being. Excited to find this podcast that you are on as well!much love to you and everybody doing this on precedented, massive, and completely insane healing work that we have been called on/volunteered to incarnate at this time to heal all this trauma, drama, and overall craziness of humanity.
What about people on the Autism spectrum? Just finding out my 35 year old son is most likely on the spectrum. He has been dealing with ADHD his whole life. Anxiety & depression since he was a teenager. He has worked very little as he struggles to find work he can do. He is so depressed lately and recently went on medication. Even on medication he cries. He’s been to therapy multiple times in his life, yet he still remains negative and lacks confidence. He tries to talk himself out of his depression and negativity but just can’t. Where is the help for decently functioning adults who have just found out they are on the spectrum? My son struggles with these concepts in this article. People on the spectrum have various sensitivities that seem to be very hampering. If anyone has any suggestions of where to turn to for kelp, it would be much appreciated.
Hi Gabriella, I’m also on the autism spectrum and I have extreme sensitivities to toxins as well as some other things. I was lucky to have a close friend who is married to a man on the spectrum and so is their son. I learned a lot about myself through observing their family dynamics and how accepting they are.
Hey Meredith, so awesome to see you again! (I had not seen much of you in the past few years, Your YouTube channel was a huge piece of healing and survival for me 2017 through 21/today).
Love seeing you bring your extremely high intelligence and EQ to other pressing societal issues. You are such a gem, and your huge heart is a gift to all of us, whether we’ve been through NPD abuse, or just insanity of living in societies which are generally ruled by psychopaths and sociopaths.
Sending you a huge hug! Hope that you are thriving wherever your adventures have brought you these days. Last I heard you were in Mexico. Actually feeling the call to head south, Mexico, Guatemala, and later, Peru.
Thank you so much for responding, Meredith. Wonderful to know there are therapists like Tania out there. I will definitely check out her website and the two YouTubers you mentioned. I appreciate your suggestions and am very grateful.
I have been struggling with ADHD, my whole life, depression, anxiety, and a whole host of other things. Just found out at 44/45 years old, that much of this was a result of the abuse and trauma that I went through in my childhood and, semi successfully blacked out for many years and decades. It’s really intense, and I have many friends who also found out in their 30s, 40s or 50s being on the spectrum.
I’ve done massive healing in my life as well, 18 years in 12 step recovery and now 18 months in trauma work, deep diving and pulling apart my old belief system. I’m not going to live for, or even try to appease people who have never been there for me and , variably just stick their heads in the sand times like the national and worldwide crisis that we went through recently. It’s so frustrating, seeing people choose insanity and obliviousness over what is plainly in front of their face. I guess it is painful, admitting being wrong about something of this magnitude would force them to also look at and question all of their other beliefs. And that is more than a lot of people are willing to take on, regardless of the cost in the lives of their own family, friends, children, and grandchildren.
It took all of these recent events plus relationships with the borderline/NPD women, which literally destroyed everything in my life, and led to complete nervous breakdown last year. On demand now, but sweet Jesus has this been a rough journey. 14 years in the dark night of the soul . Lyme disease, medical gaslighting, and family, all in denial, minimization, turning their back on me when I was near death. Then stumbling into the horror show that is cluster land… With Covid and unfathomable theft and betrayal smacked up in the middle of it! All piled on top of me, all of it somehow, I am supposed to fix… “Rescue myself”. Which I know I can do now, with the grace of God. Barely! But I have to do it on my own terms, and not trying to connect With or honor people who have chosen to honor their relationship with me, or love or basic human decency. I can’t have those in my world anymore, and I definitely will not spend my time and energy to connect and resuscitate and help people find the path to truth and reality. They’re just not interested!
Anyhow, you can see my ADD kicking in! The reason I was responding to your comment is that I am beginning my journey into coaching and trauma healing work. I’ve done a fair bit of training for individual/business, coaching and certified addictions counselor work. (I don’t have a psych degree, but have awarded myself and honorary one with a specialization in pathological, psychology, and personality disorders! Lol silver lining of being with a narcissist)
If your son wants a person to connect with, and talk to who has been through some similar things, I would be happy to spend some time. I’m not charging for coaching work right now as I’m still dipping my toes into that water, this would just be as a friend. The way that alcoholics anonymous works, With people who have gone through the steps reaching out to help others. That’s how we maintain our own sobriety, continuing to do the work daily. Just have a really big heart for people who have suffered in the way that I have. And it’s unconscionable that we still have to fight For acknowledgment, let alone actual survival or thriving in a lot of these scenarios.
Send me an email if your son wants to connect and get some support around these issues! I have overcome a lot of them or am in the process right now of healing, including lifelong depression. Now that I know why it’s there, it’s a lot easier and don’t need to just keep throwing one medication after another! Although I’m not opposed to that either, I have been on pharmaceuticals at various times in my life and, they can be incredibly helpful, life-saving, even. But when our bodies express pain or suffering, it’s just a message that something is not working. And if we can get to the root of that, that’s always the best path.
Thanks for exposing the pathological behavior of these narcissists and psychopaths!
It's critical that we as a species start to be sensitive to abuse that has been excused over and over by ridiculous societies and their "intelligence".
I think covid was a big hit to people who have been somatically asleep forever. These are good people who go along with the "tribe", in this case an abusive authority based system.
If they truly sense the pain of the trauma, they can learn and become more aware. Survival would dictate that once something is deemed as an issue, the mind and body jump to try to figure things out, even if it's not conscious. We saw that with many not taking boosters despite falling for the original scam.
You would be interested in how learned helplessness has been studied and used on society. It explains why some of us don't fold and the irony is that the mainstream interpretation of the study was that the ones that didn't fold were the crazy ones... Wtf
Tin hat/crazy conspiracy theorist only means that you pay attention to history, reality, current events and have at least some measure of emotional intelligence, IQ, and reasoning capacity at your disposal. Unfortunately, as we have found out recently that does not include vast swathes of humanity! Or at least, if they have any of these tools and qualities at their disposal, they choose not to use them 99% of the time.
Yes the resiliency is there thankfully. As is the trauma. Also all that is necessary for the path forward. It is up to us to choose by using the resilience for time to deal with the trauma of individual and collective nature and head out on our diverse paths of joy and satisfaction, showing others that it can be done. Thus the collective will be done not to be undone by the few malicious actors who would try.
.. In ancient times, the goal of ritual play was called catharsis .. now it's called theater .. touching dramaturgy is played for us .. not to us .. it's the switch from getting pushed to act .. breath creates volume .. just 21 generations ago, everyone already had 1.048.576 ancestors .. imagine .. all the people ..
The pandemic was the best thing that ever happened to my wife and I, as it brought us closer, made us healthier, and aligned our 2020 vision of what is possible.
Hola Meredith. Gracias por estar para las personas que nos sentimos atrapadas en medio de todo esto.
Tengo 37 años estoy sola pasando por un momento raro.
Por el momento sos la única persona en la que confío. No participas del abuso colectivo, no te vendes. Gracias. Soy una persona como cualquier otra persona, pero hace un tiempo muchos empezaron a vigilarme a través de todos mis dispositivos, celulares, notebook. Son personas algunas famosas. No sé cuál fue el primer objetivo que tuvieron al decidir esto. Pero ven lo que escribo y me responden por redes sociales. No publico nada en redes sociales, esta es una excepción. Yo solo escribo en block de notas de mis dispositivos. Ellos responden. Cada vez son más personas. Pareciera que me pidieran que haga algo por mi bien, me dan consejos, hay muchos "guías" que parecieran querer ayudarme. De lo que causaron ellos mismos, estoy con apatía y ya no quiero hacer lo que siempre amé que es la música, porque siento que no tengo privacidad y que esperan algo de mi que yo no hablé ni prometí a nadie, que cuando intenté hacer algo me pedían que lo arreglara y se reían. Nunca tuve la intención de participar en un casting. No sé por qué me siguen. Pero estoy bloqueada. Todo esto está logrando un crecimiento espiritual en mi. Ya van 4 años que dejé de hacer cosas porque siento que vinieron a ponerme un candado. Ellos me piden que actúe, me dicen que no me van a salvar. Pero ellos lo generaron. Cuando escribo diciendo que ellos son los culpables, me responden que tengo que soltar el control, superar el miedo. Cada cosa que digo intentan tirarlo abajo, contradecirlo y siento como si me hipnotizaran y minimizaran todas mis opiniones. Me remarcan los defectos porque son perfeccionistas y cuando ya no quiero actuar por sentirme juzgada por su perfeccionismo me dicen que tengo que superar el perfeccionismo. Siento que me cortaron las alas, que es un abuso colectivo mundial y que todos se muestran compasivos conmigo, haciendo cosas para que yo esté feliz. Pero si yo digo que estoy feliz. Me dicen que acepte el sufrimiento.
No entienden que yo puedo ser feliz sin las cuestiones del ego, sin dinero reconocimiento, pero se muestran sufriendo por mi y cuando yo me sentía feliz y lograban ponerme mal , sin existir una verdadera razón. Pareciera que intentan decirme que tienen o vieron videos íntimos míos. No sé si viene de mi ex pareja que también era narcisista como todos ellos y logré dejar hace 4 años. Intento decirles que hay muchas personas sufriendo en el mundo como para que estén centrados en mi o apenados por mi situación, que lo único que no hago es publicar por redes sociales y no perseguir la fama. Quieren que haga eso y cuánto más tiempo sigo en soledad más me doy cuenta que el camino del ego está llevando a la destrucción del mundo. Pero me dicen que acepte que no tengo el control sobre las cosas que pasan en el mundo. Me hace mal ver como roban niños , los abusan y la gente sigue como si nada compitiendo entre egos. Cuando en realidad somos todos uno, somos lo mismo.
Ven que cada vez pareciera encerrarme más pero ninguno me llama para decirme que todo es verdad. Solo me responden, pero no me nombran. El peor trauma fue generado por ellos y mi única manera de salvarme es la meditación, y apagar los dispositivos, pero siento tener una adicción a ellos y estoy luchando con eso, con el hipnotismo. Si le cuento todo esto a un psiquiatra me da medicamentos, nadie me cree. Y ellos piensan que está bien lo que están haciendo. Además muchas veces se burlan de mi de las cosas que digo o por haberme espiado con la cámara. O me ilumino o termino esquizofrénica. No tengo alucinaciones, soy una persona normal. Que como empezaron a espiarme tuve que decidir dejar el mundo de la música, actuación. Y cada día me doy cuenta que aunque me prometan todo el oro del mundo ya no quiero colaborar con la destrucción. Dicen que para llegar al éxito primero hay que sufrir, esforzarse, hacerte fuerte con todos los golpes que te dan, para cuando llegues puedas mirar de arriba a todos los demás. Y ese no es mi objetivo de hacer arte. Ni mi definición de éxito. Prefiero no recibir maltrato, dejar todo para ir a vivir al medio de la nada, sin dispositivos, celulares, computadoras. No quiero que me espíen, ni controlen más. Quieren hacerme decidir entre un bando u otro y yo no tengo intenciones de dividir. Intento mostrarme vulnerable para saber en quién puedo confiar. Pero la realidad es que si me espían, no puedo confiar en nadie. Gracias por acompañarme en estos 4 años de Soledad. Cada día siento que soy más feliz. Si no estarían espiandome sería perfecto, pero trato de sacar lo bueno, todo el crecimiento espiritual y como lograron alejarme de lo que no es importante en la vida. Si escribo en un papel no me responden. Estoy un 98 % segura de que no estoy loca jaja. Gracias. Abrazos!
So cool to stumble upon Meredith in Substack again! Her YouTube channel kind of saved my life when I was in the midst of back to back cluster B abusive relationships 2016 through 21. Such a wonderful human being. Excited to find this podcast that you are on as well!much love to you and everybody doing this on precedented, massive, and completely insane healing work that we have been called on/volunteered to incarnate at this time to heal all this trauma, drama, and overall craziness of humanity.
God gave us his reason and purpose it’ answers all questions. R.E.M. ember who you arte.
REM has a lot of great answers in their musical gifts too!
This is what I saw after we saw him come out of solid rock! On 🐣 Easter ! I saw my ancestral lines !!!
Acabo de leer la entrevista completa que te hizo Margaret Anna Alice y es una maravilla
Gracias por leerla! Qué bueno que te gustó!
What about people on the Autism spectrum? Just finding out my 35 year old son is most likely on the spectrum. He has been dealing with ADHD his whole life. Anxiety & depression since he was a teenager. He has worked very little as he struggles to find work he can do. He is so depressed lately and recently went on medication. Even on medication he cries. He’s been to therapy multiple times in his life, yet he still remains negative and lacks confidence. He tries to talk himself out of his depression and negativity but just can’t. Where is the help for decently functioning adults who have just found out they are on the spectrum? My son struggles with these concepts in this article. People on the spectrum have various sensitivities that seem to be very hampering. If anyone has any suggestions of where to turn to for kelp, it would be much appreciated.
Hi Gabriella, I’m also on the autism spectrum and I have extreme sensitivities to toxins as well as some other things. I was lucky to have a close friend who is married to a man on the spectrum and so is their son. I learned a lot about myself through observing their family dynamics and how accepting they are.
Then I found Tania Marshall’s page where she describes the common experiences like no other autism expert does. She mainly works with women and girls but maybe your son will find something helpful here too. Scroll down the page to where it starts 1. Cognitive/Intellectual Abilities. When I read this several years ago I felt very understood and validated. I haven’t worked with Tania but I think she does 1:1 sessions because one of my clients got some help from her. https://taniaannmarshall.wpcomstaging.com/2013/03/26/moving-towards-a-female-profile-the-unique-characteristics-abilities-and-talents-of-asperwomen-adult-women-with-asperger-syndrome/?amp=1
On YouTube there are a couple guys who are funny and insightful too: Orion Kelly and Autism from the Inside.
Hey Meredith, so awesome to see you again! (I had not seen much of you in the past few years, Your YouTube channel was a huge piece of healing and survival for me 2017 through 21/today).
Love seeing you bring your extremely high intelligence and EQ to other pressing societal issues. You are such a gem, and your huge heart is a gift to all of us, whether we’ve been through NPD abuse, or just insanity of living in societies which are generally ruled by psychopaths and sociopaths.
Sending you a huge hug! Hope that you are thriving wherever your adventures have brought you these days. Last I heard you were in Mexico. Actually feeling the call to head south, Mexico, Guatemala, and later, Peru.
First, Tulum!
Thank you so much for responding, Meredith. Wonderful to know there are therapists like Tania out there. I will definitely check out her website and the two YouTubers you mentioned. I appreciate your suggestions and am very grateful.
I have been struggling with ADHD, my whole life, depression, anxiety, and a whole host of other things. Just found out at 44/45 years old, that much of this was a result of the abuse and trauma that I went through in my childhood and, semi successfully blacked out for many years and decades. It’s really intense, and I have many friends who also found out in their 30s, 40s or 50s being on the spectrum.
I’ve done massive healing in my life as well, 18 years in 12 step recovery and now 18 months in trauma work, deep diving and pulling apart my old belief system. I’m not going to live for, or even try to appease people who have never been there for me and , variably just stick their heads in the sand times like the national and worldwide crisis that we went through recently. It’s so frustrating, seeing people choose insanity and obliviousness over what is plainly in front of their face. I guess it is painful, admitting being wrong about something of this magnitude would force them to also look at and question all of their other beliefs. And that is more than a lot of people are willing to take on, regardless of the cost in the lives of their own family, friends, children, and grandchildren.
It took all of these recent events plus relationships with the borderline/NPD women, which literally destroyed everything in my life, and led to complete nervous breakdown last year. On demand now, but sweet Jesus has this been a rough journey. 14 years in the dark night of the soul . Lyme disease, medical gaslighting, and family, all in denial, minimization, turning their back on me when I was near death. Then stumbling into the horror show that is cluster land… With Covid and unfathomable theft and betrayal smacked up in the middle of it! All piled on top of me, all of it somehow, I am supposed to fix… “Rescue myself”. Which I know I can do now, with the grace of God. Barely! But I have to do it on my own terms, and not trying to connect With or honor people who have chosen to honor their relationship with me, or love or basic human decency. I can’t have those in my world anymore, and I definitely will not spend my time and energy to connect and resuscitate and help people find the path to truth and reality. They’re just not interested!
Anyhow, you can see my ADD kicking in! The reason I was responding to your comment is that I am beginning my journey into coaching and trauma healing work. I’ve done a fair bit of training for individual/business, coaching and certified addictions counselor work. (I don’t have a psych degree, but have awarded myself and honorary one with a specialization in pathological, psychology, and personality disorders! Lol silver lining of being with a narcissist)
If your son wants a person to connect with, and talk to who has been through some similar things, I would be happy to spend some time. I’m not charging for coaching work right now as I’m still dipping my toes into that water, this would just be as a friend. The way that alcoholics anonymous works, With people who have gone through the steps reaching out to help others. That’s how we maintain our own sobriety, continuing to do the work daily. Just have a really big heart for people who have suffered in the way that I have. And it’s unconscionable that we still have to fight For acknowledgment, let alone actual survival or thriving in a lot of these scenarios.
Send me an email if your son wants to connect and get some support around these issues! I have overcome a lot of them or am in the process right now of healing, including lifelong depression. Now that I know why it’s there, it’s a lot easier and don’t need to just keep throwing one medication after another! Although I’m not opposed to that either, I have been on pharmaceuticals at various times in my life and, they can be incredibly helpful, life-saving, even. But when our bodies express pain or suffering, it’s just a message that something is not working. And if we can get to the root of that, that’s always the best path.
aarong.2018 at
Outlook dot com
💝🙏🏻💝✊🏻💝🙏🏻
Thanks for exposing the pathological behavior of these narcissists and psychopaths!
It's critical that we as a species start to be sensitive to abuse that has been excused over and over by ridiculous societies and their "intelligence".
I think covid was a big hit to people who have been somatically asleep forever. These are good people who go along with the "tribe", in this case an abusive authority based system.
If they truly sense the pain of the trauma, they can learn and become more aware. Survival would dictate that once something is deemed as an issue, the mind and body jump to try to figure things out, even if it's not conscious. We saw that with many not taking boosters despite falling for the original scam.
You would be interested in how learned helplessness has been studied and used on society. It explains why some of us don't fold and the irony is that the mainstream interpretation of the study was that the ones that didn't fold were the crazy ones... Wtf
https://robc137.substack.com/p/transmarginal-inhibition-the-way
The ones who survived the first or second rounds…,
Hence "crazy conspiracy theorist" was coined! I'll wear my crazy badge proudly ever more.
Tin hat/crazy conspiracy theorist only means that you pay attention to history, reality, current events and have at least some measure of emotional intelligence, IQ, and reasoning capacity at your disposal. Unfortunately, as we have found out recently that does not include vast swathes of humanity! Or at least, if they have any of these tools and qualities at their disposal, they choose not to use them 99% of the time.
Yes. 100%. Everything that happens is our training. And choice is our power.
Yes the resiliency is there thankfully. As is the trauma. Also all that is necessary for the path forward. It is up to us to choose by using the resilience for time to deal with the trauma of individual and collective nature and head out on our diverse paths of joy and satisfaction, showing others that it can be done. Thus the collective will be done not to be undone by the few malicious actors who would try.
.. In ancient times, the goal of ritual play was called catharsis .. now it's called theater .. touching dramaturgy is played for us .. not to us .. it's the switch from getting pushed to act .. breath creates volume .. just 21 generations ago, everyone already had 1.048.576 ancestors .. imagine .. all the people ..
The pandemic was the best thing that ever happened to my wife and I, as it brought us closer, made us healthier, and aligned our 2020 vision of what is possible.
You had me with your title. That is the way to perceive these times. They are in service to us. Thanks. Will read now. :-)